Family Tree

by Jen Myzel

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1.
Yellow Lotus Flower, like the sun you rise up from the darkness Beyond grief is understanding, like the sun we rise up from the darkness One lonesome yellow flower wanted to sing a song She asked the lily pads and the frogs to sing along Before she knew it there was a symphony at the pond One lonesome yellow flower sharing her life song I was born at the bottom of this muck A slimy seed I was murky and stuck Till a golden fish swam by And what he said just changed my life There's light at the top, you've got to believe me So grow up and up, he beseeched me Yeah, Yeah Yellow Lotus Flower, like the Sun you rise up from the Darkness Beyond Grief is Understanding like the sun we rise up from the darkness I didn't know if this while light thing could be true But I had to give it my all and see my mission through So I sent my root down into the darkness of that scum It cracked my skin open and the water entered my blood My Green arms were growing, my torso was getting strong I could feel the life within me writing its own song I tilted my body back and lifted my head up high For the first time in my life I felt the blue beginning Of the Sky This is it I'm almost there Maybe it's too good I feel so scared I feel a tightening here comes the air And I gasped exploded and I Opened my eyes To the Gracious Sun And in that moment she looked back at me we fell deeply in love She warmed my yellow smile as I cried out loud I'd never felt so loved I didn't know I was allowed Oh Yellow Lotus Flower You are my sunshine Oh won't you let me kiss you for the rest Of Your Life Yellow Lotus Flower, like the Sun you rise up from the darkness Beyond Grief is Understanding like the sun we rise up from the darkness.
2.
Seasons 04:43
3.
I've been watching myself waiting all my life For teachers telling me what's right But now my pen and papers pouring out with song And I don't give a damn who thinks I'm right or wrong I've been staying up late listening to the sky For all the light years passin' by And once I find my place within this universe I can't deny much longer how much this Earth is worth The ocean carries me away in my dreams And when I wake she cleanses me The salt of her body runs down my cheeks as I Awaken to my purpose within this here human dream Lord Make me an Instrument of your Peace Lord Make me an Instrument of your Love Lord Make me an Instrument so I can Sing, Yeah Yeah Lord Make me an Instrument so I can sing so I can sing so I I I can sing Water Carry Away all that we do not need To bring into the future Fire Burn to the ground all of the hatred and fear Fire Burn me up till all that is left are the ashes of Love Burn me up till all that I am is Love Burn me up up up up up Lord Make me an Instrument of your Peace Lord Make me an Instrument of your Love Lord Make me an Instrument so I can sing, Yeah Yeah Lord Make me and Instrument so I can sing so I can sing so I I I can sing
4.
Family Tree 04:30
Packing up my bags again Searching for a place to call my home A generation so confused Like branches Fallen, Crawling to our Roots The apple has fallen too far from the tree I don't even know my family history Am I enslaved or am I free? Am I to blame for all this suffering? Am I the victim or the perpetrator? Or am I everyone in an old old story In an old story, In an old, old story Oh have I borne the whip before? Have I birthed the child before? Have I been the one to load the gun? Was I once a medicine man? Have I been a hooligan? Did I live off nothing but the sun? Give me some clue who I am A Jew, a Homo Sapien A body, spirit, no one at all? I'm broken branches on the floor Disconnected from my source And I'd do anything to survive Burst my heart and bleed my veins Open up ancestral pains Teach me what they went through just to stay alive River running lineage Help me open the gift you've given me My life Passed on down through the babies you once bore As I learn more of your ways I wonder why it's rare these days To sing a prayer Or light a candle There's only time once all the work is done But as far I can see across the skyline of this city the work is never-ending Seems to me like everyone's got something to save I'm just trying to save the holy seed Of the Family Tree That's been passed on to me Like a fruit, or a grain My only goal in life is to preserve life To receive life To revere life Persevere life To preserve life To receive life To revere life Persevere life My broken branches feel the rain Pouring down the window pain As memories awaken in my spine Taproots are going down Rain pour in my open mouth Now I can remember just why they stayed alive
5.
6.
Let the Sky Fall Let the Earth Move Let your Heart beat to the rhythm of the song Let the music guide you and carry your way home Home x.4 Let the love in No need to be afraid Let your heart sing the words of the song Let your feet guide you and dance your way home Home x.4 Let your wings out Jump but don't look down Let your heart fly like an eagle in the sky Till you nest and rest and find your way home Home x.4 If every star is the sun to another world THen who am I to tell you what is true? If I could learn just one thing or two I'd be on my way to seeing this life through Yes I'd be on my way to seeing this life through They say the New Earth is on its way I feel its axis turning around My head is spinning around and around And if I only touch the ground I feel my body as the revolution I know my body as the revolution I Love my body as the revolution I feel my body, know my body, love my body, everybody. I feel my body, know my body, love my body, everybody.... Let the Sky Fall Let the Earth move Let your heart beat to the rhythm of the song Let the music guide you and carry your way home Home x.4
7.
The Trail 02:58
The Trail is calling me and I must go The Trail is calling me and I must go The Trail is calling me The Trail is calling me The Trail is calling me and I must go The Path we walk on we will never know The Path we walk on we will never know The Path we walk on We will never know How far ahead how far behind does it go And will it take us to a higher ground Or will it take us to the sea below To a higher ground To the sea below This Path we walk on we will never know
8.
Oh if I knew What you were gonna do I still wouldn't change a thing about the way I loved And if I could have seen How quickly you would flee the scene I still wouldn't take the love that we made back My heart was heavy and sad Mourning all the love that we could've shared But I understand that you had a different plan And all that's left of me is everything I was before With a little more love in my heart And a little more truth I get to sing about Though it may sound sad But the story just passed me by Love is always a gift in life and I have no regrets to cry about When I start missing you I reach deep down into my heart For that infinite eternal spark For the lover that lives deep inside myself Now there was a hole inside my heart Where I was making room for you But that's alright I filled it up with light Some would call this a broken heart But my heart is broken open Love and pain in God's arms are the same Could I have seen how this would turn out? A musical travelin' man and I'm tryin to settle down Well that's just life you learn a thing or two And all that's left of me is everything I was before With a little more love in my heart And a little more truth I get to sing about Though it may sound sad But the story just passed me by Love is always a gift in life and I have no regrets to cry about When I start missing you I reach deep down into my heart For that infinite eternal spark For the lover that lives deep inside myself If this is the hardest part To risk love and have it fall apart Then I'll take it all the loving and the fall I think if you really want to love You've got to let go as much as you hold on When love is true every day is new And if there's a reason for it all I must be learning how to fall In and out of love with an open heart The last words I heard from you were Goodbye beautiful soul Thank you for all the love that you're still giving me in my heart He said I hope that you Shine bright as the sun and sing my little bird for everyone I can still hear you now And thank you for All your healing my muse I send you all the love in my heart On your precious journey I said so it will be So it will be So it will be.
9.
Oh My Little Child Be Careful with your tender heart It's a tricky game to play You've got to learn when to trust and when to back away Oh My Little Child Open up your eyes to see the world But Oh My Little Child You're gonna wanna save the world Know its not your burden to hold On an icy winters day Would you run out naked in the cold? Oh My Little Child Please wrap your heart up in your soul And let your destiny unfold My little Child, My Voice Inside, My little Destiny Self-Liberation frees every generation in your family tree My Little Child, My Voice Inside, My Little Destiny The most important gifts in your life will come, in disguise There may come a time When you feel you've left the world behind I know its strange my child but the only way to help is to free your mind And shine your light on those you've left behind I do believe my child That people want to be free What they don't know my child Is in their minds they hold the key Too simple to be liberty is what they'll say my child But you can help them to see My Little Child, My Voice Inside, My Little Destiny Self-Liberation frees every generation in your family tree My Little Child, My Voice Inside, My LIttle Destiny The most important gift in your life will come, in disguise.
10.
I'm writing this song in the middle of the night To keep my mind pointed towards the light I wanna run away but there's nowhere to go I wanna hide away but I'm always gonna show So I might as well Tell you how I feel I'm waiting for someone who wants to be real To hold me tight in the middle of the night And whisper something of sweet delight I see your smile, though its a blur I'm waiting for someone who wants to go deeper To ride the waves, and laugh as you fall And stand up again, just as you are We can drink tea and kiss in the rain I'm waiting for someone, I don't know your name We can read books, and play the guitar And dance in the moonlight just as we are I used to think that falling in love Was a weakness of the heart But now I see, standing strong You can fall in love just as you are This very song is the seed From which the flowers of tomorrow grow Water in the sky, nourish this seed Music in the wind to you I will reach Music in the wind to you I will reach
11.
Spiritwalker With long legs poking out of rain clouds Along the Mesa tops Listen to our prayers for understanding Spiritwalker, Mmmhm Spiritwalker With footsteps echoing like promises across the aching land Give Fire and Ice to purify us Spiritwalker, Mmhhmm Spiritwalker Whose tears that fall as snow and rain Heal our forests, our rivers, our homes And the hearts of all creatures, Mmhhmm Spiritwalker Heed the cry of every living thing And bathe the Earth in harmony Spiritwalker Heed the cry of every living thing And bathe the Earth in harmony
12.
There was a time, our Grandmother told us, when the darkness almost won. She said the people's hearts were shrouded in clouds of years of fear, delusion and denial. She said the people were not strong. Very weak. And they had minds bigger than their hearts. But these were just the ones who were scared, they were hurting inside. Grandmother told us not to be afraid as she tucked us into bed that night, because this illness had passed us now. We were freed, and we are free now to speak of it in a sacred manner. She said to please preserve the history of our people, because it helps us to grow and to be wise. Once the heart is strong like a lion, fierce like a tiger, full of overflowing love like a spring pouring out onto the Earth. Once the heart is this strong, she said, like yours are, there is nothing to be afraid of any longer. We were in the bardos then. We were en route to a more harmonious way of life. But it wasn't without a fight. A good fight, she said. Our Grandmother that is, a warrior of her time. See-er, one who knew the trees. A dragonfly spider woman of the heart and words. She made a difference in her life. We are so proud to descend from Grandmother. She told us things that night, that you don't wanna know about, because you almost can't believe it ever could've been that way, and such a short time ago.
13.
She said in those days, the sky could fall in any moment and break you. Break your body into a million pieces. And not in the way that the Earth will one day slowly return our bodies back to the soil that feeds, but literally shatter like glass. 1-2-3- poooof. And gone. And it was not of the will of the Mother Earth but of the people with big minds and little hearts. She said that the images were everywhere across the Earth. THe images of darkness and greed, and she said there were days when she cried, and doubt would creep into her trembling heart. Is this the end of our people? she would think. But her heart had a will. She knew it did. And every day gave her just enough strength for the next, and the next. She said that for almost everyone then, they had to heal the darkness within their own spirit bodies. Many of them, including Grandmother, were born into bodies to which the milk did not flow, and the corn and the wheat and the sweet, sweet vegetables of the Earth were only half alive. Like a lion, coming out of its cage for the first time, like when they freed the animals from the zoo, Grandmother said, she and the others had to relearn how to be wild. She said after so many years in a cage, one has to remember, over and over again, how to be free. We were crying by now in Grandmothers story, because we knew what she said to be true. She said please don't lose the history, because otherwise you will lose a part of me; our legacy. She said yes my loves, I can understand your tears. It is very sad for all those people who died with broken hearts. But remember also my loves, that was then, and this is now.
14.
We have already won. The war was an illusion, a confusion, said Grandmother. As soon as enough of us remembered how to Love, there was no question in which direction the Earth would turn, or how to grow a seed and kiss all of life with our lips. To hug each other awake every day. It was our work then, to bring Love back into the hearts of all people. And Love was irresistible. It always will be. But it was a time when it took great courage for Love to take root in our souls. There was no other choice, we had no clue where it would take us, where we were going, but we were off, like golden fire birds flying through the night sky. Graceful, Illuminating, Swift, fearlessly determined to awaken the people from their slumbers. We knew what was at stake, Grandmother said; as she held our small hands to her heart, tears poured down her face like the mouths of rivers, finally, after years of winding down mountains and hillsides, releasing back into the sea. She deeply exhaled, and said again, we knew what was at stake, and it was too great to lose. So we won.

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released June 30, 2013

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Jen Myzel Occidental, California

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